Here is an open question for all you challenge freaks:
How many __________ is too many?
I’ve decided I’d like to keep an ongoing portfolio of items that fit this algorithm.
So far, between Jane and I we have the following list:
Pao de qeijo (cheese bread balls in Brazil) in one sitting = 9
This was a particularly bittersweet for Jane. But even sweeter for the water corporation who, according to local sources in Rio de Janeiro, experienced a 30% spike in water consumption on that day.
Coffees in 30 minutes = 3
Another memorable day, for the coffee shop Jesus Martin in Salento at least. I for one was extremely taken by their macchiatos and decided to, well, have “just one more”. I can also attest that drinking three coffees is NOT a suitable remedy for a) irritable bowel syndrome, b) intenstinal infections or c) anxiety-related issues.
Verses of Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” you can sing while staying in a hostel in South Africa = 1
While I personally found the irony of the situation rather amusing, given its unintentional significance on my behalf, I’m not so sure the cleaning staff did.
Times you need to ask for your teaching materials from the administration staff at work = 4 (ongoing)
It turns out this is the easiest way to entertain yourself in a Colombian run institute. This is my current record, which I set on Friday for a class I have to teach on Monday, and I have a pressing feeling that this count may reach 7 come Monday morning. I imagine this might be how one’s left testicle might feel after spending 26 years in the same room as one’s right testicle when every Friday night the Right turns to the Left and says “Hey bro, whatcha up to tonight?”.
Teaspoons of ground chili you can tolerate in one meal = 4
Our poor housemate will attest that even IF you like spicy food, you should always test your spice before you put the whole thing in an expensive meat dish. To be honest, I’ve never seen an Englishman so happy to see a toilet at 8:30 in the morning.
Times you should consider reusing the dirty toilet paper in the basket because there’s none left on the roll = 1
Luckily for our housemate, there WAS toilet paper in the dunny when he flew through the door in a state of intestinal arrythmia, but it was a very funny few seconds of comprehensive silence following my suggestion that he consider doing so.
19 year old Colombianas in one house = 3
Our now infamous “Kitchen Incident of 2012″ provides clear evidence that even if they are 19, and even if they are in their pyjamas, they’re still fucking annoying.
Times you can throw firecrackers under the legs of boys at the urinal before it is not longer funny = infinite
Enough said about that. Luckily drunken talk of dropping crackers down the fume tube of the portaloos never eventuated.
Ladels of cinnamon = 1
If you haven’t seen this, you haven’t lived.
Again, nuff said.
So, over to you – I’d like to know…How many, is too many?
