It has been a preoccupation of mine, since arriving in Bogota (although I must admit that the whole of Colombia is equally as guilty) as to what the specific logic behind the professional training of supermarket packers.
I should say that perhaps in the context of cultural hypocrisies, one could afford to be more lenient, however, I consider myself still at the stage of wondering why Shakira is so popular and consequently must resign myself to the fact that more complicated cultural idiosyncrasies will have to wait for a later, more enlightened analysis.
Purchasing food in Colombia can generally be achieved in one of two general “stratas”. Cheap. or not-so-cheap. That is to say, that the luxury of national level chain supermarkets and even the delights of Carrefour are a common entity in metropolitain Colombia, while little corner stores selling suspiciously flexible carrots are just a frequented by your average Joe.
The Mega-Hyper-Shopping-Extravaganza centres are the kind of shopping experiences that leave you wondering if a) travelling an extra 45 minutes with a stranger’s face in your armpit, b) the extra 50 cents for a bag of milk (that’s right, a BAG of milk – how can an entire country not consider the facilitation that cartons afford) or c) the 30 minute wait in the “express lane” were actually worth the effort.
Yet the smaller hole-in-the-wall type places invariably leaves you wondering if you’ll be able to eat 4 mangoes, 9 plantains, an avocado, a bag of yogurt (yes, that’s right. BAGS of yogurt) and a head of broccoli before tomorrow morning to avoid throwing out mouldy produce.
The particular offense in question here is the exorbitant use of plastic bags. Let’s say, hypothetically speaking, you want to buy a magazine, a packet of tissues and a tub of vaseline.
Here’s the formula: Paper + inedible substance = 2 bags. Not particularly inconspicuous, I think you will agree.
What about a bag of milk, two apples, a bag of chips and some crackers.
Again: Dairy + Fruit + Processed Starch = 3 bags.
I suppose this wouldn’t be so much of a problem if the check out attendants could avoid looking at you in a way that somehow questions your moral foundations when you ask them to put chips and apples in the same bag. And don’t even think about mixing flour and toilet paper. We all know what happens when you contaminate wheat starch with wood pulp.
Perhaps the entire mystery can be explained by the formidable bag-tying tendencies. My suspicion is that if the attendants can use as many bags as possible, and tie a knot in the top of each one (whether or not you have asked them to tie your bags) then the customer will be far too busy untying the knots so that they can carry them home, and wondering why it is they have 7 plastic bags to carry 8 items, to realise that they have just spent 30 minutes waiting to pay $5.
I also suspect that there may be a hidden league of origami champions lying dormant in the cohort of devoted supermarket attendants across the country.
Rook out universe, here comes Corombia!!
